


Auntie Mame

by gardnerhill



Category: Elementary (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Birthday Party, Community: watsons_woes, Gen, Watson's Woes July Writing Prompts 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 15:04:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4483928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardnerhill/pseuds/gardnerhill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joan Watson has found a solution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Auntie Mame

**Author's Note:**

> For the July 2015 Watson's Woes Promptfest Amnesty Prompt #4, _**Another Year Older and Surrounded By Idiots**_ _: Benedict Cumberbatch is not the only July birthday among Holmes actors – Robert Stephens (Private Life of Sherlock Holmes), Vasily Livanov (Russian Sherlock Holmes films), and William Gillette (the first stage Sherlock Holmes) share the month with him. Incorporate a birthday observance in some way._

“And that’s when I realized that the blood splatter was all wrong!” Joan gestured with her wineglass. “If he’d really killed her with an axe, there should have been a spray along the ceiling from her hair. So she’d splashed the blood herself to make it look like she’d been murdered, so she could disappear!” She took a drink. “Besides, there was no residue besides the blood – no skull fragments, no brain matter or hair.”  
  
“Ewwww!” Madison stuck out her tongue.  
  
“Cool,” Tanisha said.  
  
Dylan made a face.  
  
Quentin frowned. “Where’d she get the blood?”  
  
“Oh, it was cow’s blood. She probably got it from a butcher shop.”  
  
Taylor looked sad. “That poor cow.”  
  
Madison nodded. “That’s why Mommy and Daddy say eating meat is bad.”  
  
“Your parents are right, Madison, from a health perspective. It’s actually better for you to eat bugs – most people in the world do.” At the disgusted chorus Joan smiled. “How many of you like to eat honey?”  
  
All the little hands went up.  
  
“Well, honey is made when bees throw up.”  
  
***  
  
“Joanie?”  
  
“Emily!” Joan turned to greet her host.  
  
Emily smiled – the tight “I’d like to kill you but there are too many witnesses” smile Joan had seen before. “Joan, the moms are upset about whatever you’re telling the kids. Some are crying, and Dakota just threw away her new Winnie-the-Pooh shirt.”  
  
Ah yes, the one with Disney’s Pooh face deep in a pot of honey. Joan smiled. “Sorry, Em – I guess I’m so used to hanging around cops and crime scenes that I forgot myself.”  
  
Emily exhaled. “Look, Joan, I know you weren’t that thrilled about coming to a 4-year-old’s birthday party, but it means a lot to me and the others. And we really appreciated you taking the kids off our hands – until this happened. Look, just please, stick to reading them a story, all right?”  
  
Joan nodded.  “All right. We were reading a book when I got distracted.”  
  
“Thank you.” Emily left.  
  
Dakota and most of the small partygoers came back into the room.  
  
“Sorry, kids. We’ll have to go back to the book I was reading to you. Okay?”  
  
“Sure!” Tanisha said.  
  
“Right.” Joan pulled out the book she’d been reading to them, and opened it up to the marked page. “Okay, when we left off, Carrie was just getting ready to go to the prom.”  
  
“Cool,” said Quentin.


End file.
